Nephthys (nephthys_abode) wrote,

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Where are you, Christmas?

I'm feeling a little bit like Cindy Lou Who at the moment.

For those of you who aren't part of bros_destruct - which is pretty much the only place I've been posting this year - there is a reason for this.

I lost my mum on 31 August this year.  And I won't lie - it's been really tough.  Some days I'm fine, and other days, the grief is just about unbearable.

Normally, Christmas is my favourite time of year.  I love it - I really do.  It's not about the gifts.  It's about decorating my house with my tons of tinsel, and how happy my cat is to have new tinsel to play in.  It's about sending Christmas cards to make my family and friends smile.

And for me, with my in-laws 12,000 miles away, and for my unmarried sister - Christmas was about mum.  About going up to her house, and taking over her kitchen so we could make a super-amazing Christmas lunch and spoil her with it.  And then getting to see the rest of the family when they came by.

This is the first one we'll have without mum.  We've been invited to share Christmas with other family, but we've decided this one, we need to be just by ourselves.  Because it is going to be tough for us in particular, not having mum here.

Now my mum wouldn't want me - any of her family - to be sad about Christmas.  She was not that kind of lady.  She was a cheeky old baggage, right to the end.  I'm working consciously on remembering that about her right now.

And I'm trying very hard to find my Christmas spirit.  When the grief gets a bit too much, I'll stop, take a deep breath, and as one of my dearest friends told me this week - I'll put on my sparkly Christmas earrings (yes, I've got lots of pairs of those!) and lean on the people who love me.

So, as part of my efforts to find Christmas, it's that time of year when I put the offer out there - if you'd like a Christmas card, all the way from down under, then leave a comment with your address on this entry.  And your name - unless your postie, or your family, will be un-phased by a Christmas card arriving addressed to your LJ username! 

For those of you who are new around here - this won't be any ordinary Christmas card.  I'm all about creativity, so you're going to get a lovingly personalised envelope.  Usually with a surprise!

Comments will be screened for privacy, of course.

Tags: christmas
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