Nephthys (nephthys_abode) wrote,

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Injecting a small note of levity . . .

. . . now I've had a moment in the ladies to compose myself after reading Bret Hart's goodbye to Test (located here - and thanks to alex_royale for sharing the link)

There are lots of good things to be said for losing weight - this is not one of them. I'm about to throw myself a drama queen pity party over my shrinking boobies! Hence the icon . . . which I've just been dying to use!

Damn it, that was the one place I didn't want to lose weight!

Top five signs you need to buy new bras:

#5. You spend all day hitching the straps up over your shoulders, even after you've adjusted them as short as they will go

#4. Instead of classifying bras as "can't wear under t-shirts because the straps cut in too much and cause back fat rolls" (and thank you to Jamie Lee Curtis for that imagery, she rocks), you now classify them as "can't wear under t-shirts because the cups are all wrinkly and show just how little you have to fill them out, damn it"

#3. You contemplate wearing both sets of "chicken fillets" to try to fill out the cups

#2. The only reason that you don't wear both sets of "chicken fillets" is that even that doesn't help, which is just bloody depressing

And the number one sign you need to buy new bras . . .

When you duck into the ladies room to get yourself together after an emotional moment, you realise that funny sensation in your chest is not an anxiety attack in the making, it's your silicone "chicken fillets" sliding out from under your underwire bra because the damn thing is too loose to keep them in place!

Had a little "laughter through tears" moment there as I returned the chicken fillets to their proper positions, even as I mourned the fact that not even they can help my poor much-diminished boobies.

Tomorrow, I'm heading to the lingerie store to be fitted for some new bras - and you better believe I'll be looking for some padded, push up ones!
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