I actually don't have a lot to say, but I did feel that a post was in order since I've just upgraded to a paid account - 105 user pics, wheeeeee! -snickers- Using a spanky new 'Taker icon in honour of the event XD
Mostly, I'm just glad to be home - spent the last 72 hours on a retreat with my colleagues. Don't get me wrong, I love them (and fortunately, the only one I really can't get along with couldn't come, gee, what a pity, so sad, moving on!), but I'm the kind of person who needs considerable amounts of personal space and solitude.
So being stuck in a car with three of them for two hours to drive to this god-forsaken wilderness was one thing. Then discovering that I was sharing the cabin that I thought I was getting to myself (due to another no-show) with someone else . . . blah. Even if I had my own room and bathroom.
Then dinner with everyone and conversation and all that shit - man, I was fried the first night.
Add to that the fact that this afore-mentioned god-forsaken wilderness had fuck all cell phone reception for anyone on other than the priciest of providers networks, and of course no fucking wifi access anywhere, and I was really cut off. Finding out they had no cable TV was just the icing on the cake, after that.
Day 1 was miserable because I could have sworn I had a Valium in my purse, but do you think I could find the damn thing? It was there - I found it the next morning. But no, I had to just hang in there without my chemical crutch, feeling myself winding tighter and tighter.
Everyone was going back to one of the other cabins for drinks before dinner - I booked and fled back to my cabin by myself, found the bottle of Valium and spent an hour in the dark under a throw rug listening to my MP3 player and losing myself in my music.
Did I mention that it was not only god-forsaken and cut off from the rest of the world but also absolutely fucking freezing? I mean, I was prepared for it to be cold, but not cold and raining, interspersed with hail and sleet, and then capped off by bitterly cold winds.
Thank god for the Valium - once I had a few of those under my belt, I coped much better. But by the time we were ready to come home, I was tying a knot in the end of my rope and hanging on for dear life. Once again escaped into my music on the drive back, and refused to apologise for it either.
Then of course I felt unsettled even though I was home - my routines were all out of whack, so I'm still relying on Valium - which I don't like to do, because it fucks with my head big time, but if it's a choice between that and feeling shaky and on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, then sorry, brain, you lose.
It was good to dive back into my flist this morning and get back up to date. Yay for Jeff picspams, even the ones that make me go all "WTF?" -gigglefits- Yay for RAW discussions - gonna be diving into RAW in a few hours myself. Oh and Yay Yay Yay for 'Taker being reinstated - man, I knew about that 12 hours earlier than everyone else, and I was soooooo dying to tell everyone and enjoy the shared squeeeee-fest!
And thankies to
Hey, still utterly captivated by 'Taker, have no fear, specially since I know he's gonna be back on TV real soon, but please - black nail polish, and that chunky wristwatch, and let's not forget that forearm muscle definition . . . mmmm, forearms. Yummy!