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I can do almost anything . . .

procrastinate



. . . if I'm supposed to be doing something else! 

Case in point: a good friend of mine, bewailing the constant onslaught of Mary-Sues in her various roleplay games, decided as a joke to set up a place where Mary-Sues were not only allowed, but indeed welcomed. A place for them to be as sparkly and fluffy and, well, Mary-Sue-ish as they wanted. 

Now, on reading her first post, I was somewhat in awe. I mean, it takes real talent to squeeze seven separate fandoms into five paragraphs! 

But the more I thought about it, the more the lure of the totally over the top Mary-Sue became irresistible. Of course, if I was going to write a Mary-Sue, she would in fact have to be a Diva-Sue, now wouldn't she? -wicked grin- 

And so, while I was working away on my new Kane fic, Diva-Sue just kept popping into my head. Didn't help that last night, while a thunderstorm made computer time a no-no, I was watching the WWE 2005 Hall of Fame induction. Think wrestlers in suits, and you can imagine how loud Diva-Sue was squeeing in my ear. 

So, just to shut her up, I started writing. 

And you know what? It's a lot of fun to write Diva-Sue! I can throw every writing rule out the window! Short choppy sentences - sure thing! Spell check? We don' need no stinkin' spell check! 

I have already committed the cardinal sins of wrestling fanfic with Diva-Sue, or to call her by her given name . . . Candi Stephanie Butterfly Austin.
  • Related to a person of importance - check!
  • Unrealistically talented - check!
  • Loved by all - check!
I have further sinned by having her be in love with Randy Orton, while John Cena pursues her relentlessly. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Frankly, I don't get what the fanbrats see in Orton, and John Cena's pitiful whiteboy gangsta wanna-be schtick is just too painful for words. But hey, it's Diva-Sue, so I should expect to have to hold my nose occasionally while writing her. 

I had already planned to set Diva-Sue on a collision course with the other Mary-Sue on the board, just because the battle of the Mary-Sues should be a giggle, but dagnabbit, I wanted some fandom crossovers too! 

Now, I haven't quite made it to the lofty heights of six fandoms in five paras, or indeed even the awesomely subtle references of my friend's post, but thanks to a trip to the movies on Friday night to see Miami Vice, I had my first crossover. And doing the Stargate SG-1 thing was a no-brainer, given that it's me writing it! 

To subject yourself to the wonder that is Diva-Sue, you need to go here: http://www.greatestjournal.com/community/ipso_perfecto/787.html?#cutid1 

I've even gotten my first squeeing fangirl comment, and to add to my catalogue of sins, I've refused to post more until I get more comments. This is known as pimping for attention, they tell me! -snickerfits- But as we all know, I'll write on regardless! 

I also promise to keep working on the good fics - really, I do!