Nephthys (nephthys_abode) wrote,

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It's time to talk about One Night Stand . . .

'Taker's goodbye?

You know, the very fact that it's taken me this long to get around to discussing a PPV that happened almost a week ago should give you some idea of what I thought about it. 

Let's do a quick recap though, since I'm here: 

Jeff Hardy vs Umaga - falls count anywhere: 

Jeff at his brilliant best. Loved the bit on the stairs, where he slid down the bannister, just because it was silly and reminded me of something from another place (yes, I know that doesn't make much sense, but hell, it made me giggle so I had to mention it). The Swanton off the 18 wheeler was fucking awesome. 

The Diva "I quit" match: 

Who watches Diva matches? If I've got the show recorded, then not me. Sorry, even when it's Beth Phoenix I usually can't be bothered. 

I also object to the bastardisation of the "I quit" match - damn it, those matches mean someone is quitting! Even if it's a kayfabe quit and they turn up again in three weeks!

Singapore Cane match for #1 contender for ECW Championship: 

Entertaining as hell, for the most part, but only because I love Singapore Canes! Reminds me of the bad old days of ECW. Most entertaining bit - seeing Chavo whack that sportstar in the crowd, and then having CM Punk toss the guy the cane so he could get a little of his own back. 

But man, my sympathies go out to Big Show, cos, fuck, that hadda hurt! 

I'm kinda looking forward to him taking on Kane for the championship . . . not that I think he'll win!  

John Cena vs JBL - first blood match: 

Dear God, someone please stop punishing John Cena with these dogs of matches against that no talent JBL! I don't know what sin the poor bastard committed, but I reckon he's paid for it by now! Even if that sin was "The Marine" ! 

Yeah, I watched it a few weeks ago. John's cute, in his rather over-muscled way, and hey, the scenes with him and the little woman when he came home from "the Marines" had some serious heat! 

But I'm looking at the screen and thinking, "By God, this scenery is familiar". And then spotting faces that were likewise familiar. Anyway, if you've seen it, there's the scene where the bad guys are heading into the "marsh"? 

And one bad guy turns to the other and says "What about crocodiles?" 

And the other bad guy says, "There aren't any crocodiles in South Carolina." 

No, there aren't . . . but if you're about to wander off into a good old Queensland mangrove swamp, then it's a perfectly valid question, the answer to which is "There are bound to be crocodiles - watch where you step!" Man, I was laughing my head off at that! 

That's right folks, "The Marine" was filmed in my backyard! All I can say is that WWE Films are more than welcome to come back any time to make some more movies! 

Okay, back to One Night Stand . . . 

Shawn Michaels vs Batista - stretcher match: 

A helluva match. Loved Y2J's interference - the Y2J/HBK 'shippers would have been beside themselves! But go Dave - gotta love the big man's intensity. 

Triple H vs Randy Orton - last man standing: 

I've never made any secret of the fact that I'm a Trips gal. Trips is da shit, if you want my opinion, and he's sexy as fuck to boot. Was I thrilled to see him win? Absolutely! 

It's a damn shame that Randy took that fall wrong and busted his collarbone though - and again, fuck, that must have hurt! Just looking at his shoulder made my stomach knot. Was he pissed about it? Oh hell yeah. But hey, Randy, it happens. You've been pretty lucky so far with injuries, excepting when you first joined the big show. Welcome to the big leagues, kid. 

Edge vs The Undertaker - tables, ladders and chairs: 

Okay. First off, for a guy who hadn't ever done a TLC match, 'Taker was pretty fucking phenomenal in this match. Proof again that he is in brilliant shape, and that he's forgotten more about wrestling than Edge even knows. 

Much as I wanted 'Taker to win, with hindsight I have to say he was destined to lose. This is storyline again, and by God, it better be building to something incredible for the price it's costing 'Taker. 

However, it took interference on two occasions for Edge to win, and that fact isn't lost on most fans. And no one thinks he deserved the win. His comeuppance is coming - and it will be sweet. 

Watching 'Taker's exit damn near broke my heart, even though I know he'll be back. I can't believe otherwise - you don't end a legendary career that way. Not with a man who puts bums on seats the way 'Taker does. 

I am seriously pissed about the timing, as you can imagine. I really did want to see 'Taker live in 10 days. 

And I gotta say the WWE's gonna take some shit about "advertising" him as being part of the tour and then not coming up with the goods, disclaimers about the card changing without notice notwithstanding. They specifically state the Big Show won't be coming because of his injury - why not say 'Taker ain't coming? And take those fuckin' ads off that have 'Taker and Batista's pics on them! 

I console myself with the thought of a half-naked Kane, CM Punk, Batista, Matty . . . but it ain't gonna be the same without 'Taker. 

One final word about One Night Stand though - okay, two final words. 

First - I want a T-shirt that has a picture of Kane and the words "Kane is the ultimate One Night Stand" . . .  

Second - given the fallout from One Night Stand - Big Show out for three weeks with an orbital fracture, Randy's busted collarbone, and sundry other injuries that probably weren't reported, perhaps the WWE needs to rethink the wisdom of having one night a year where they go "extreme". 

There's a reason the old ECW kinda went belly-up - while there are a segment of fans who love the blood and gore of extreme matches, the reality is that these guys are now very highly paid sports entertainers. Having any of them out for weeks or months with a real injury is a tremendous waste of money. 

More importantly, it's a stupid business strategy to put your biggest assets in that much jeopardy. You lose a main eventer at One Night Stand and suddenly you're having to re-jig the plans for PPVs and storylines for months in advance. Not to mention the money it costs you in lost revenue when people elect not to go to an event or watch a PPV cos your big name isn't featured. 

I know it's gonna fall on deaf ears, but I feel better for having said it. I'mma get down off my soapbox now. 

But just before I go, a word about the draft. 

Hmmm, yeah, probably time for a bit of a shake up. Change is as good as a holiday, as they say. 

I notice Edge and Vicki are gonna get married in 5 weeks . . . after the draft. I smell a bust up in the works - Edge going to Raw, probably. Would be a good end to the storyline, but not before Chavo walks out on the "Familia". 

Other than that, I've not really got any ideas or even preferences. Frankly, I'd like to see Kane stay on ECW, if only because in my opinion he should have a nice long championship run there to solidify the brand. 

Cena needs better competition too, so either move him off Raw or give the poor bastard a break and allow him some decent matches. 

I do like the fact that there's more inter-brand competition now, rather than just saving it for the PPVs. I'd like to see that continue.
Beyond that, hey, I'm happy to be seeing five brilliant hours of wrestling every week! It's all excellent inspiration! 
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